Here's my little writing gig. I did (am still doing) the daily tips. Some of these wisps o' wisdom were written by my pal, Stephen, helping me out so I don't go completely insane with overbooking life. Thank you, Espey, for the hefty assist. Tandem writing works, kids!

Seen here:

http://diet.fitness.msn.com/

and expanded here:

http://diet.fitness.msn.com/dailytips.armx

I won't say we've achieved brilliance, by any means, but when you've got 50-80 words to get a point across, you do what you can. :} And, it is so very, very nice to be a paid writer again.

Yippee!

Most excellent quote of the day:

If we listened to our intellect, we'd never have a love affair. We'd never have a friendship. We'd never go into business, because we'd be cynical. Well, that's nonsense. You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down."

~Ray Bradbury

It is the very thing that I've worked on for so many years, and will work on until the day I die, I s'pose. Don't think, feel. (nods there to Neil Diamond, I'm afraid.) Dive in. Have faith. Follow your intuition and believe it, not the million and one pragmatic, negative things your brain will throw your way.

Of course, there is balance in all things -- no research or brain involved can have you opening a popsicle stand in January, and that's no good, really. But to hone that ability to fearlessly make the leap and to fill those wings....ahhhhhhh.

There's nothing like that wind in your face as you glide into fate.

The biggest pumpkin is beginning to turn orange at the base. Fantastic!

And, Topvar premium lager from the Slovak Republic is a damn fine choice to wind down with at the end of the day.

That, really, is enough for today.

I'm gettin' all posty on yer ass, ain't I?

*giggle*

Well, this is me, avoiding doing work on the weekend. And, then, also rebelling on the very thought of doing work for the MAN on the weekend. So. I'll get up way too freakin' early to do some of the stuff that I'd promised myself I'd do these past two days. And you know what? That makes me ever so much more happy.

And in this moment, I am content. On my second glass of wine, hubband cruisin' REI web site across the room from me, waiting for the Trader Joe's veggie pizza to be done.

We did dim sum today with his boss and wif, another colleague and his son, down in Monterey Park. Other than having to close my eyes during the drive (holey, moley, the boss is an insane driver) we had a most excellent time. I love dim sum for it's frenzied pace and Hitchhiker's Guide-like presentation. "Would you like my flank? It's tender, not like other flanks!" Or something to that effect.

The boss is Chinese, also, so he looks out for me and my no-pork, no-beef rule.

The other parts of dim sum that just put a smile on my face: Being such the minority in a teeming mass of people, watching the parade of families and groups all speaking at top tones, the tradition of heaps and heaps of tea consumed, the bloody overwhelming gaudiness of every dim sum place I've ever visited (prerequisite mirrors, crystal chandeliers, tacky heavy curtains and patterned carpets) and just the *pace*. Wow. Awesome. Oh, and well, the food. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Makes me want to travel far, far away from here.

Then, we ventured to 99 Ranch Market (this is always the tradition on these trips--if you're driving all the way to LA from Ventura, you're going to pick up some good Asian stuff you can't get here). Again, being in 99 Ranch is like traveling *elsewhere*. I feel giddy in this market, full of possibilities of meals to prep and share, flavors never before experienced and tins of things to *have*, just in case it is time to whip out an exotic, satisfying meal.

Oh, I could spend hours there, listening to the recipes tripping off my honey's boss's tongue, asking translations on ever-so-many mysterious packages, and just...taking it all in. I could do without the stanky fish smell (do the other customers/employees not *smell* this? I guess not) but, it's nothing breathing in & out my mouth won't fix.

Anyhow, it was so very good to be away from the house and out on a wee adventure (including a bit of adrenaline during the drive). Made me long for more...freedom, elsewhere. Made me start thinking about vacations abroad and how we'll intersperse our lives with wild abandon in vastly different locales. Made me start thinking about a plan.

These adventures will happen in good time, I am sure. Commitment is key.

Finally. Did. It.

Finally, I have sent off an evite to as many birthing professionals as I could drum up here in Ventura and outreaches. This evite was to begin the Ventura Birthing & Parenting Circle -- a community of like-minded individuals who will support, refer, back up and assist each other.

They ain't got that here now. And, I'm determined to start, and keep a community going. With the help of a couple of other good women I have met here, the invite has gone out electronically, and will be followed by flyers to those who don't have email. And next month, again. I will not rest until we have coalesced into a living breathing entity of community.

That is phase 1.

Phase 2 is pitching the local rags about how wonderful we are, and how we need a story on us. Or, writing the story myself.

Phase 2.1 is getting the resource web site up and going.

Phase 3 is maintenence, I hope. And getting those stories written about us. Then, fame! Fortune! Name in lights! Er, no. Just some consistent doula work would be nice.

Anyhow, I feel good about it. Wish it luck and prosperity, if you have a moment.

So, on the topic of being an adult doing things for "a good reason": my current choice to take a new, full-time job that I'm completely unsuited for, but for which a company will pay me. (This, in addition to a doula job, and that MSN writing thingy. Head spinning. Abundance is here, I hear.)

I'm in over my head (at least for the moment) and every moment is stress, (except for when I remember to breathe, or am kvetching with colleagues) and I have made many cups of tea per day in effort to avoid these things that are pestering me. Namely, many aspects of this gig.

No need to go into detail about it, but it is the stuff (I now remember) I disliked so much about the Web, and the reason why I barricaded myself in with the gods and goddesses of content and ran screaming ("Please lay me off now")from the last well-paying gig, when they began to walk down this route.

And why did I take this job? For the money. Plain and simple. The thing that motivates adults, but not kids. Money. I have a close friend who asked, "So you're whoring?" and I guess that's another way to put it.

My only saving grace that keeps me from feeling like a two-bit hootchie is that I'm not taking the money for a new girlie outfit, or upgraded TV, or new handheld device, or another car or a million other tchotkes that we Americans seem to "need" to make us feel whole--in fact, I don't make this money to consume anything. I have to pay off debt. Living-life-moving-to-a-new-town-lost-my-job-gotta-do-a-cash-advance-debt. That may make me seem self-righteous, and that's not what I'm hoping to do, but I guess whoring ain't as bad (in my mind) when the end game is freedom from a burden of living-life bills. Of course, had I bought a bunch of shit, I could at least sell it (see http://savekaryn.com/) but alas, not so much. (Garage sale still may be a possibility, though.)

So I bitch and moan, then payday (yay! today!) comes. I write a check for $1900 and send it off to the Man, and I feel just a smidge lighter. I make a plan for the next five months, and I feel a fog lifting...

Tomorrow, I may feel bogged down in the crap of the daily again, but I may just take a peek at my notes for the future. $2500 here, and there and there...and whew! Party at my house January 1, 2005!

Five and a half months ain't long, is it?

Many things rumbling about in my brain in my bloggy absence.

* Connections and why they are or aren't.
* Being an adult and making decisions you know you'll hate, yet are doing for "a good reason."
* The satisfaction of being handy and productive.

These must be touched on soonly. Stay tuned.

But for this moment, let me just say, that my garden rocks the world. We pulled our first apple and first plum off our trees this weekend. Nothing like eating your own fruit, right off the tree. I harvested radish, arugula and broccoli rabe seedlings (so the others had room to grow) and we sprinkled them on pasta salad and regular salad. Our lebanese zucchinis continue to produce prolifically, and they are just beautiful to behold. Tomatoes are starting to ripen, all the herbs are just tasty. Chilies are poppin'. Fresh cilantro! That's what I gots to say.

And, oh, the pumpkins! Amazing what happens from a little seed. On four plants, we must have at least 1-15 pumpkins started, and more on the way. They grow like gremlins overnight. It's fantastic. I feel like it's Christmas every day when I walk out into the yard.

And the flowers...don't get me started on the flowers. Let's just say the bees, the butterflies, the hummingbirds and I are very, very content.

It has become a ritual for my partner and I every night--he gets home from work and soon thereafter, one of us says, "Want to do the walk around the garden?" We ooh and aw over the day's changes, "Oh! Look at this!"--what six or seven hours of heat and 12 hours of light can do to these leafy creatures is truly miraculous.

It is contentment, that garden. Backbreaking contentment. Heh.