This is The Tale of Fred Holbert, the Car Hauler.

May he feel the shame he should.

I found Fred through my cousin Michael, who is a classic car enthusiast, and knows all the message boards where you can find a good person to haul a non-working '57 Chevy across the country, from Elgin, IL to San Diego, CA. Which, is exactly what I needed.

N and I gifted my dad with N's '57, currently residing in N's parents' garage, for Christmas. Now to get it to its new home.

We had no need to rush it across country, so could wheel and deal, and was able to settle on a good price with Fred. I told him not to accept the price if it was going to be an issue for him, we'd just wait for someone who could be okay with it. $700 -- he took it, because he had a pick up in the town where my folks live and it would be very convenient.

I put $300 down in his SwiftPay account, he would mail me a receipt. Discussed all the details and when he'd set out, and got an estimate of when he'd arrive in Elgin, barring horrible weather. He was supposed to arrive two weeks ago today. And, of course, you know he didn't. That was February 22.

I wasn't too worried, but by Thursday, knowing he'd probably hit snow storms, I wanted to get an update for my in-laws who were literally waiting by the phone. I believe he'd gotten ahold of them by then, said he'd had car trouble, was in Indiana and was in a storm, but should be there by the weekend. Saturday, for sure. Late Saturday, he called and said Sunday, for sure, many apologies.

Okay, I'm now pissed and wary.

Sunday comes and goes...no phone call. I leave a message, my mom-in-law leaves a message, nada. I rinse and repeat on Monday. Tuesday, I leave a threatening message saying he's leaving me no recourse but to contact the authorities because I'm thinking he's a shyster, and request again a call back.

Wednesday he calls, says he's stuck in a snow storm, still hasn't received the part (heater fan) so he can drive, but luckily, the cab of his truck is warm and he's safe in a good truck stop. Like I give a rat's ass. I have a long chat with him about how important communication is, and how I cannot trust him to pick up and haul anything if he doesn't let us know what's up. Tell him I'm feeling very suspicious and not sure about this deal at all. He's all apologies and excuses -- his TWO cell phones weren't working where he was, he had to borrow one from another trucker, he's in Ohio now (?) blah blah. He reassures me a bit (now, I'm just thinking he's a Schleprock and a bit of an Eeyore) and he thinks he'll get the part the next day, and promises to call.

This is March 2. He doesn't call me the next day, of course, but calls my in-laws, which is fine. They let us know that he will be there to pick up the car either Saturday or Sunday, and he PROMISES to call the night before to set up the time.

What do you think happens, kids? That's right, all together... "HE DOESN'T CALLLLLLL!"

So, I call Sunday, Monday and the kicker is today. I am done. DONE!

I have emailed my cousin who is a cop and sent him all of Fred's info. We'll see what he can tell me about the man, and if I have any recourse.

I've also emailed Mike and told him to let loose on the message board. Contact the owner and let him know that this guy is a no-goodnik flake stealer-of-my-money. Also, let the other folks on the list to never, ever use him, if indeed he is a real car hauler. In the words of Mortal Kombat.... "FINISH HIM!"

And, I called Fred, left messages on both his phones, informing him that the deal is off, and I want my money back, thank you very much. I gave him a week to send a check or money order, and also told him I'd call the authorities if I didn't have the check by next week. Yeah, like he's going to send it.

I hate this. I hate feeling like I'm being mean, and I hate being fucked over.

I'd really like to post his phone numbers and email address here, but have decided that would create majorly bad karma points for me, far outweighing him stealing $300 from me. *Sigh* I guess just dreaming of it should be satisfaction enough.

I just called a pal in Marin to discuss all this, and she had a good story to trade -- she just got screwed over on ebay, to the tune of $450. Cops are on it, but the total amount of screwage has to hit 35k before they go in -- the scam artists have only collected 28k so far from the innocent ebayers. So, she waits, and hopes to go for the kill.

Why are there scammers like this, and how did they get that way? Stupids.